The really solid thing that this essay does is offer a lot of sentence variety. That i said you could use to kind of chart your sentence variety, what I’ve done in the bonus materials for this essay is chart the sentence variety of one of the body paragraphs if you remember back to the bonus materials, there’s a sentence variety chart that I gave you. And you will see by taking a look at the differing kinds therefore the different lengths of sentences that this really has a great flow, there’s lots of variety there. Additionally an advance is used by this essay vocabulary but it is not only advanced, it’s used appropriately. So here the example is, ‘Free tutoring does not aim in the middle associated with the problems facing schools; a wider variety of classes does by livening interest in school up until graduation.’ So we’ve just seen an advance sentence structure and an advance usage of vocabulary very good commendable language. These are all the reason why why this essay earned an 11 that is in which you want to ideally be scoring ten to 12 regarding the ACT writing.
Now why don’t we take a look at sample essay number two.
Go ahead and go directly to the bonus materials and print it out. Again i will begin with reading the first paragraph but it really are going to be important so that you can have a difficult copy on front of one to follow along. Alright, this one starts with ‘a problem that is major many high schools face is students failing to graduate, or dropping out before they usually have the opportunity. High schools over the nation have attempted countless different programs and ways to attempt to combat student’s failure, some proving more lucrative than others. In my experience, offering a wider number of class options would do a better job of promoting success than merely offering free tutoring because ‘interest’ promotes a desire to master and remain at school, a thing that not simply getting help can do.’ and this one starts out quite similar to essay number 1 however, if you noticed this one only scored a seven. So it is still in the half that is top a far cry from the 11 that the very first essay scored. Here we have again an extremely strong position and knowledge of the job. This writer says ‘offering a wider selection of class options would do a better job of promoting student success and merely offering free tutoring because the interest promotes the need to learn and stay at school.’ Therefore we’ve got a position, we’ve got reason, in addition we’ve got the introduction of a counter argument. You could already infer even if you haven’t browse the essay using this that this writer must not do an excellent job of incorporating and powering up on that counter argument otherwise they might have scored a lot higher on the essay. So solid ‘task and position’ why don’t we see where it falls a bit that is little.
‘Complexity and development’ alright this writer says, ‘my school that is high really many students by providing peer tutors because learning from peers is more appealing than being re-taught by adults. ‘tutoring helps many who could be too frustrated that they can’t understand their classes and would like to drop out.’ Now the first thing I notice when I look at this may be the wording is a little bit confusing here and I also’m certainly not sure what this will be supposing because, honestly it’s making tutoring appear to be a truly good thing. The positioning statement told me that this essay would definitely be arguing for a wider variety of classes. So this may be an attempted counter argument, but where it falls short is it does not completely dismiss the counter claim, it leaves your reader wondering exactly what is this person proving. So that’s the first place that falls short in complexity and development. The essay also says, ‘Offering many courses means that students will still learn, yet have a blast and start to become less stressed.’ Now this is certainly within the body that is second and this may be the very first time that the writer has introduced this concept of ‘having fun and becoming less stressed’ and it’s really unclear where that links to the position that ‘a wider assortment of classes is way better for learning.’ So it seems form of unfocused as soon as we’re referring to development and keeping it focused and supportive.
Finally in organization this essay is organized simply but effectively it really is sorts of predictable but that is why it scores a seven rather than very up high on the scale which will be in the 11. This essay says ‘In addition to more classes, having parents and teachers who worry about students’ success, offering extra-curricular programs to boost an active reference to the institution, having assemblies and events to market school spirit and several other factors are typical important in promoting success.’ Now they are really great ideas and definitely on topic, but one might expect to see these ideas introduced in the introduction and then followed through to when you look at the essay. However once you know where this paragraph arises from may be the conclusion and that’s one of the big no, no’s for that basic organization. You do not introduce ideas that are new in conclusion because all it will is serve to confuse the reader. They aren’t anything that you’ve mentioned and none of one’s support pertains to it. And this is why this essay’s score is a little bit lower in organization.
‘Sentence structure and grammar.’ Alright this essay says, ‘Something that not help that is merely getting do.’ This can be one of the lines that really stuck off to me in fact it really is area of the position statement which will be some of those sentences that readers are actually focused in on, if you’re given your thesis or your position, they want that it is clear. And this wording is really kind of confusing, I’m not sure what things are talking about, what the something is and it is just a bit that is little. So again we have style of this awkward utilization of language which keeps this essay down for the reason that mid range rather than shooting it as much as the higher range that presents a command of this language.
Alright the number of pitfalls that this essay come across that we currently have talked about and also you like to make certain you avoid. This essay makes ‘hasty generalizations’ the relative line, ‘only students with a desire to enhance will benefit from such a program.’ That is a big jump. To make certain that’s saying basically if they don’t whole heartedly want to be there they’re going to flat out fail if I give tutoring to everybody. And I also think that’s a leap that is really big flaw and logic. In addition gets a bit that is little, ‘The most important, though, is a student’s aspire to learn also to succeed;’ it simply goes on and on about this. Last but not least we talked concerning this ‘basic organization’ how homework helps not just do we now have sort of candid transitions like ‘in addition’ to and ‘furthermore’ but we talked in regards to the introduction of new ideas within the conclusion which really throws the reader for a whip. So coming back to wrap all of it up the seven indicators that the readers will probably be trying to find is your ‘understanding of the job,’ the ‘position’ you are taking, the ‘complexity’ with that you discuss the issue, the ‘development’ or support you provide, the method that you organized your thoughts and then the way you deliver it together with your ‘sentence and word choice’ as well as your ‘grammar.’
In this episode we have taken a look at two essays, both were solid they scored in the top half but clearly we see why essay one scored an 11 while essay two scored a seven.
So now which you guys have the tools and also the information you need to attack the ACT writing section, i am aware you’re going to do great.